I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize