go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
