Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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