My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
