New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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