Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Found your dick twin last night
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
