do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
