drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
