It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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