I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
ttyl tear gas
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
