I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
