lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
