You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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