relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
