Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
