I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
