If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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