yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
