after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
