come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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