Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
