Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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