Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
