and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
