It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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