He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
