They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
