I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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