i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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