i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
