Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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