You can't motorboat a personality
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
