I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize