Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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