So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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