so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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