She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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