yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
