I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
