think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
