okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
