someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
