Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
