She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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