I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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