I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize