Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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