I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize