it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize