thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
