So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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