Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
