To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
