Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
