i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize