just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Someone came in the potted fern
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
