just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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