just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
