dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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