Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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