i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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