You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
