this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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