READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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