Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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