Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I AM VODKA MAN
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
