fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
