my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize