Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
