So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
