the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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