it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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