I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's just like the Real World with babies
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
