btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
