you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
